Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Atheists, there is a god up there in heaven and he loves you so much that he sent his son to die the worst death imaginable and then to turn into a zombie all to save you from sin. Why do you reject him?

I can read

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

How do military families balance personal political views with respect for civilian leadership?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I see through liars

What pleasure do guys get by sucking female breasts?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I can count

Beautiful European women were killed by inquisition but Russia was not Catholic. Is this the reason for a drastic difference explaining why Russian women are the prettiest?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

When was the last time you had sex with someone much older than yourself?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Google Play Store replaces ‘1-tap buy’ with ‘Slide to buy’ - 9to5Google

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What’s a historical event you wish more people talked about?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

What can I do after 18 cops raided my home, without a warrant, seeking a person who didn't live there and wasn't there, and also went through all of my stuff? The person wasn't on the lease, and they didn't see him enter.

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What is one thing nice you did for someone today or something they did for you?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Why would my nipples hurt when I touch them?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

How would you advertise if you wanted to be a "tour guide" who can take you through the dark web while warning you what not to look at and not to click on?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Does being poor build better character than being born rich?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Why do people procrastinate and how can they stop?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I actually pay taxes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday